I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize