the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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