can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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