very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Randomize