I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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