So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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