so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize