The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize