So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize