I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He has the fingertips of a God
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