You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
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You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
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They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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