remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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