i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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