I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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