How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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