you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
babies were throwing up all over the place
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
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then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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