Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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