we're making bets on your personal life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I wish there were birth control emojis
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize