Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize