Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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