I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So vagazzling was a success
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize