I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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