btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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