Kiss
Puke
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize