Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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