you guys were way drunker than both of me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize