the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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