People with herpes should wear stickers.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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