he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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