A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize