she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
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I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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