I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize