if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize