No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize