I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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