Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize