So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize