Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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