Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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