Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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