I got chris browned last night
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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