Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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