Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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