Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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