She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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