So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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