She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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