i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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