i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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