and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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