he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
